What if Jesus was a college  professor? What would students think of him?

From writer Amanda Lehr at the humor site McSweeney’s, here’s some (highly irreverent) Lenten food for thought, a sample of “selected negative teaching evaluations of Jesus Christ”: 

“Very inconvenient class! Always holds lectures on top of mountains, in middle of the Sea of Galilee—but never close to the main campus.”

“By week one, I was already tired of his anti-rich, pro-Samaritan bullshit. I wanted to take a course in Christianity, not liberalism.”

“Wears sandals too much. No one wants to see your dusty feet.”

“Not what I expected. They say his area of specialty is carpentry, but we never built anything.”

“Kind of absent-minded. My name’s Simon, and he’s called me ‘Peter’ for the entire semester.”

“Doesn’t respect students’ time. A line of us had been waiting outside his office for over an hour. Finally, he showed up, said, ‘And the last shall be first,’ and started seeing us in reverse order. Made me late for work-study.”

“Tells too many stories. Easy to get him off track during lectures.”

“Feels like a class for farmers. Hope you like talking about seeds. Wheat seeds. Mustard seeds. Seeds, seeds, seeds.”

“DON’T take his class if you care about your GPA!!! Treats everything like pass/fail. Only cares about you if you’re failing the class, so good luck getting that A- up to an A.”

“Plays favorites. (Sorry, we can’t all be John ‘The Beloved.’)”

Read it all.