Dear Shia,
Well, let me just start out by saying: Congratulations on completing your journey into the Catholic Church! Welcome! What a great start to the new year. This is a thrilling moment for you and for those who love you. As we say in the baptism ritual, “the Church of God receives you with great joy.”
Take a deep breath, thank God, and celebrate each new day as a Catholic as a priceless, precious gift. To quote one of my favorite hymns, “Ponder anew what the Almighty can do.”
So, you (like a lot of people) may be wondering: what happens now?
Well, you naturally want to be the best Catholic you can be. And that might include entering religious life. I couldn’t help but notice that it’s been widely reported that you would like to become a deacon.
That in itself is exciting news, and many of us will be praying for you as you begin this journey of discernment and discovery. As someone who has made that journey himself — I was ordained a deacon for the Diocese of Brooklyn 17 years ago — I can tell you it can be thrilling, challenging, bewildering, frustrating and overwhelming. Take it a day at a time.
And while you’re doing that, allow me to offer some unsolicited advice. Free free to take it for what it’s worth — or, if you want, just hit “delete” and move on.
First, as you undoubtedly know, this will not happen overnight. Church law requires that you be a baptized and confirmed Catholic for at least five years before you begin formation for the diaconate. Then the formation itself will take roughly another five years. But that doesn’t mean this time will be idle. I’d encourage you to make the most of it.
So here are some ideas.
1.Find a parish you like. Attend daily Mass as often as you can. Avail yourself of the sacraments frequently. Get to know the pastor. Ask him for advice and guidance about a possible vocation. Celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation once or twice a month. You won’t regret it, and it will change how you view yourself and your world. Grace abounds.
2.Get involved in parish life. Volunteer wherever you can, whenever you can. My first ministry was as an usher, taking up the collection at Sunday Mass. Give that a shot. Train to be a lector and an Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist. Learn your way around the church and the sacristy. Join different groups: Bible Study, the Knights of Columbus, Adult Faith Formation. Discover how a Catholic parish operates and learn how all these moving pieces come together to help form the Body of Christ. We are a big, crazy, unruly, diverse bunch, from many places and backgrounds, of all political and liturgical varieties. You’ll fit right in!
3. Get your hands dirty. Discover the joy of being a servant — which is at the very heart of the vocation of deacon. Answer phones in the front office. Volunteer at a local food pantry or soup kitchen. Make coffee for the parish council meetings. Go on a mission trip to build homes for the poor. Seek ways to serve others, every day. Not sure if the diaconate is right for you? This can help you find out.
4. Pray without ceasing. Which means: make everything you do a prayer, and seek out opportunities to pray often. (FWIW, I wrote a book about that.) Lent is coming soon. Get ashes! Decide what you want to give up. Find ways to give alms for the poor. Follow the Way of the Cross every Friday. Read daily reflections to help you along the way — your friend, Bishop Barron, has a volume I’m sure he’d be happy to give you.
5. Do your homework. If you’re serious about becoming a deacon, learn all you can. A great start is 101 Questions and Answers on Deacons by my friend Deacon William Ditewig. It explains what the diaconate is, and what it isn’t, and does an excellent job of laying the groundwork for anyone curious about the vocation. Also, talk to deacons to learn more about the vocation. Find yourself a good spiritual director who can help you figure it all out. This is a big step. You want to know what you’re getting into.
6. Talk about this with your wife. Often. Pray together frequently and make sure she understands what all this means. A man cannot be ordained a deacon without the full, written consent of his wife. Find a deacon couple (or two or three) and find out what the process was like for them. Don’t be afraid to ask hard questions. You might even consider going on a retreat with deacons and their wives, to learn more about the spiritual dimension of a diaconate marriage.
6. Finally, just let go and let God. Honestly, if the Lord wants this for you, he will make it happen. Trust. And as St. Pio famously put it: pray, hope and don’t worry. As I said earlier, take it a day at a time. And enjoy the journey!
Wherever it takes you, bear this in mind: we all have only one goal. Heaven. In his classic memoir, The Seven Storey Mountain, Thomas Merton wrote about his own journey into the church and described a friend who crystalized what his life should be about from that moment on. “You should want to be a saint,” he told him. It’s just that simple. And just that hard.
You should want to be saint — and so should all of us.
Being Catholic is more than just a way of praying. It’s a way of living. It’s a way of seeing the world and those around us. It’s a way of striving daily to love God and love your neighbor and follow unflinchingly in the footsteps of Christ.
May God help guide you in that direction, and may you never tire of the incredible adventure you are undertaking. God love you and keep you, brother. You are part of a big, bustling family now, a billion strong. Let’s pray for one another, with gratitude and joyful hope!
Blessings,
Deacon Greg Kandra
